superiority/inferiority complex

i've seen the following wall street journal op piece around for the past few days...  i have to admit that the title ("why chinese mothers are superior") almost shamed me into reading it.  so, here you go:

why chinese mothers are superior

ok, have you read it?

quite frankly, the anecdote about ms. chua abusing and coercing her daughter into mastering the technically-difficult song scared the cwap out of me; i almost had chills reading that little chunk of the article.  although i firmly believe in culturally-different models of parenting and the acceptance thereof, i have also seen culturally-different models of abuse.  granted, the excerpt is only from her perspective of the situation, and i do not know her personally, but she seems to write candidly (and proudly) of her experience as a hardass asian mom (google "disgrasian" for more examples of hardass asian momhood.)

i think her exaggerated descriptions of "western parenting" and "chinese parenting" are fairly accurate, albeit stereotypical.  but to think that one of these options is actually superior makes my head hurt.  why can't there be a happy midline point on the continuum between the two?  i've certainly known products of both parenting philosophies...  and mostly the results are not super pretty.  i've friends who think they can do anything they put their minds to (and then are shocked when they've messed up... western parenting), and i've friends who seem to be constantly clutching onto any semblance of mild approval from their parents (chinese parenting.) see this article for more examples.  (you should definitely read that one, too.)  are either of those results actually better?

thankfully, though i am the daughter of immigrants, i am the result of a meld of both parenting philosophies.  i've been taught to work hard, but to be happy as well.  i played the piano for 12 years, but i also saw my friends outside of school and had playdates and sleepovers.  in school, i was never punished for bringing home a b in a high math class, or even a c in physics, once.   

and i am doing ok.  thank you, mama and papa moy.